Penzance!

Well that’s me back from holidays, did you miss me?
Before we get onto the holiday report though, did everyone see my Mum in the Newbury Weekly News Business review the other week? How cool was that? She thinks she’s famous now though and was on about getting an agent to handle her PR from now on.
So then, back to holiday matters. Unusually for us we didn’t leave on Friday night (but we did have dinner from the chippy as a treat). Saturday morning and we loaded up the car and headed west. As usual I was a really good boy in the car (asleep most of the way) and we were soon in Exeter Service station eating Burger King, as ancient tradition dictates. We then got back on the road and were soon in Penzance, driving up the narrow country lanes to our farm. I couldn’t believe it when we got there, I know Mum had been telling me we were going to stay on a farm but we could see the cows from the window, they were really close (and a little bit smelly, Dad said we had to expect that). We got all of the stuff out of the car and went straight to the shops for supplies. The weather forecast was for snow and they wanted to be prepared. It was great having Mum in the shop with us, I wouldn’t let Dad push the trolley and we got loads of really nice things.

I had a lovely little room with a nice big bed. After I had switched the lamp on and off around 500 times I was soon fast asleep….
Sunday morning I was so excited I got up at 5 am. Mum and Dad were really pleased with me. It was mothers Day, so I gave her the card we had bought and her present (which was wrong! Nice one Dad, I wish I was old enough to have a credit card and do the on-line shopping). As soon as I was put in the car I went to sleep, so they went for a Sunday drive like a couple of old people. Still, I musn’t complain because we ended up at Sennen Cove (as recommended by Slim and Trace). It was lovely, if a little cold in the wind.

As it was so cold, I decided I’d take matters into my own hands and promptly filled my trousers full of lovely warm wee. Dad couldn’t believe it as I stood there with steam coming out of me. Mum thought it was really funny. Once I was cleaned and changed we had a look around the lifeboat station and I decided it was time for an ice-cream, the shop keeper was amazed!

Here I am finishing it off, it was very nice actually. Once we were back at the house, Dad and I decided it was time to get into the bubble bath:

This was really great and I developed quite a taste for it over the week. Shame Mum couldn’t come in with us but apparently the baby wouldn’t like it. Nice as it was to be on holiday, I couldn’t really get my head around it all and kept asking why we were on holiday. I never did get a really satisfactory answer.
Monday we went out in Penzance. We had lunch at a nice Café where I managed to set the world record for the longest time taken to eat one cheese sandwich (It took so long Dad had to run back to the car to get another car park ticket) before they took me to a lovely shop for a new summer outfit. There were a couple of cracking ‘Mature’ ladies behind the counter and I seized the opportunity to strut my stuff in front of them when I was trying this new gear on by bursting out of the changing room in my pants, parading around the shop and pulling some smooth moves. Mum tried in vain to get my clothes back on but I was having none of it. She threatened that she’d take me out in the street in my pants if I didn’t get dressed, I called her bluff and ended up in Penzance High Street, in my red pants on the coldest day of the year. I soon gave in and let them dress me, I was frozen. I asked mum what was up her jumper as her belly has got pretty big lately, she said it was the baby, I told her it was a muzzy cloth! As if to let know the real reason, the baby had a good old kicking session that I could feel. I think it must be a baby in there….
Tuesday and there was a little bit of snow in the air, it didn’t settle though and it soon passed. We made some sarnies and headed out:

We saw a really big helicopter fly just over our heads on the way to the Scilly Isles, I quite fancied going myself but Mum was too squeaky to stump up the cash. Then we went to Paradise Park, I hoped it was going to be good with a name like that. They had an indoor play barn with all the slides and ball pools and we were the only ones in it! I soon got bored with Dad and we headed out to see the penguins being fed. I know that going on holiday this time of year is going to be cold, but it wasn’t busy which meant I got to feed the penguins!

The lady lifted me over the fence (mum came too) and I got to delve my hand into a bucket of little fishes and throw them to the little penguins. They loved it and went mad splashing in the water and everything. It was really good, and as soon as we had finished I stuck my messy, fishy fingers straight into my mouth, mum thought I was revolting…..

We had lunch inside a play fort and then saw the rest of the animals before heading back into the play barn:

There were a few other kids in there now, so I ran off to play with my new friends (I introduced myself to them as ‘Ned the Noodle’). I had an ace time bossing the bigger kids about and racing everyone down the slide. Once we were done here we went to Hayle skatepark. Dad tried to sneak in without anyone noticing him so he could a little play and to be fair, he wasn’t too bad but it was really cold so Mum and I left him to it and went back to the car….. We went back to the farmhouse and had a nice cuddle before turning in for the night.
Wednesday we thought we’d go for a ride on the train, but it was closed for the rest of the week for maintenance. Never mind, we went to the beach at Praa sands instead. It was lovely, the sun was out and the wind had dropped. We should have some really nice pictures of us digging, walking and throwing stray golf balls from the nearby course into the sea but the camera decided not to work. We then went on to St Micheals Mount. We couldn’t go on a boat trip as it was low tide and we didn’t fancy the walk. There was a nice playground nearby though and we enjoyed that instead I walked along the sea wall and harassed some seagulls. We went home for lunch and Mum was watching the budget on telly, I soon turned it of and told her I couldn’t watch it because I was a child! That put her straight. We cosied up and did some of my sticker book as I didn’t want to go out. Never the less, they made me go with them to St. Ives which was largely rubbish except for the arcade. We went back to the house and all of a sudden the lights went out and the telly went off, not good. I told Mum that I couldn’t see and tried to turn the telly back on to no avail. Dad fumbled about for the fuse box and got the lights back on which was good. What wasn’t so good was the roast potatoes that showed no sign of cooking after an hour in the oven. I think he must have broken it. Oh dear. To round things off nicely, mum broke a bit off of the dishwasher…oops!
Thursday, apparently we were going to Goonhilly. I had no idea what this meant, but made sure they knew ‘I don’t want to go to Hilly’ How wrong I was.

Can you see Mum and I on this picture? The dishes were huge! There was all sorts in the visitor centre. The best of all though was probably a thing where you could roll balls round and round before they sped up and dropped down a hole in the middle. After that it was time for the bus tour, I couldn’t believe my luck…

The driver was called Eddie, he was my new best mate. We drove around the site in his great big bus and he told us all about what everything did. Once we were off the bus it was lunch time. We went to the café and I got very distraught when Mum said I could have fish stars and rice….rice….RICE!!!! It actually turned out she said fries and a major gastronomic disaster was avoided. A group of older people came in and had a tray full of cakes that openly coveted. Mum joked with the man that I wanted to go and sit with them. Shortly afterwards he asked Mum and Dad if he could buy me a cake for my pudding, apparently he wanted to see the look on my face:

Once lunch was done and dusted it was back into the visitor centre to play with Eddie who din’t have anything better to do until his next bus tour departed. We had a great time and I ran the poor old chap ragged but he was great fun.

After Eddie had to go we went to the outdoor playground for a bit before we headed off. I had a bit of sulk once we left and they made me stay in the car while they got out at Lizard point, I don’t think I missed much though.
Friday we went to Penzance skatepark. Dad tried to fob me off with my bike but what I really wanted was his skateboard!



I had him pushing me back and forth until his back gave out and I loved it. I kept calling out to mum for a ‘Picture please’ each time I went up the ramp. I even took a picture of Dad all by myself:

But he didn’t have the style that I did. Mum then suggested we went to Redruth, but it looked a bit rubbish so we pressed on for Truro. I think the less said about this the better really. I was a very naughty boy and managed to wind everyone up. Oops, sorry.

Here we are on the balcony, if you squint really hard you can see St Micheals Mount through the railings.
So Saturday morning we packed up and left, but we didn’t go home. We went to see Andy at his brothers house, which also meant Mark, Amy, Sarah and John. We had a lovely afternoon in the sunshine playing football and I emptied their playhouse onto the lawn.

We then went to Polzeath (just for a change hey Mum?) Dad and Andy caught some fish in a rock-pool before we headed off for ice-creams!

We went back to their house and I started playing up again….oh dear….
Sunday we headed over to Treyarnon. I grinned from ear to ear as I realised where we were.

I was still in a bit of a bad mood and I didn’t last long before I was marched back to the car. They also decided to pull the plug on our planned trip to the Harlyn for a carvery as well, I must have been really bad, sorry. Still, I defy anyone to go on holiday with Mum and Dad for a week without it getting to them……
Monday was back to nursery, I was quite pleased to see all my friends and after Dad came to pick me up I had to take him to the dentist. I got to sit on his lap and watch what the dentist was doing. Apparently, he can count my teeth when I’m three, he can count them all he likes as long as he doesn’t do anything else. We then had to go to Tesco, Dad was obviously feeling pretty relaxed after his holiday and let me walk around with him rather than riding in the trolley. I was a great help of course and though the Easter eggs actually contained yoghurt.
Today, Dad picked me up on the bike and we met Mum in the park for Ice-creams in the sun and a go on the swings. We then went to see Nanny and Auntie Christine. We all cuddled up on the sofa to watch Beebies for a bit before I helped Auntie Chris cook some roast beef for Owen’s dinner. We decided that next I go round we’re going to make cake…..

Rain rain gone away!

The rain has stopped for a bit! Hooray. Dad’s even been to pick me up from nursery on the bike a couple of times.
I had to get busy with the paints Friday afternoon because Nanny’s birthday was imminent:

I find the whole creative process easier if I am free from the shackles of such mundane items as clothes.
Had a busy weekend just for a change. We set off early for the Coral Reef on Saturday morning. Due to mum’s condition it was all down to Dad to take me on the flume slides. The exercise will do him no harm, it was only about 460 steps to the top anyway, I don’t know what he was moaning about. Mum sat at the waters edge in the splashdown pool to see us gracefully enter the water after our high speed slide down. She was very impressed with our efforts and said we were the only two splashing down who looked like they had actually enjoyed it. She also said I was a lucky boy because all the other children were almost getting drowned by their grown up in the mad scramble to get out of the water whereas dad was making a good job of keeping me upright and out of any unpleasant splashing. There was also high drama when one of the little pools was closed down, the reason being someone left a poo in it! I’d like to make it quite clear that it wasn’t me, although I can’t rule out Mum or Dad. All the kids were crowding round to see what was going on but I wasn’t allowed…. After the swimming we went to Kentucky Fried Chicken (Mum’s favourite) and then we went to Windsor!

Here we are outside the castle.

Here we are in the railway station. Both of which were rubbish compared to Daniel’s Department store’s toy department! It was brilliant, they had every toy you could think of (and even I few I couldn’t have). We were allowed to stay for ages too which made a nice change. They even had a train that went all the way round the shop hanging from the roof. Apparently Mum’s shop used to have a toy department a bit like this back in the old days too, what a shame, all they have is boring clothes for grown ups now. Then it was round to Nanny’s to deliver my handmade card. Uncle Den was already there and then Uncle Slim and Auntie Tracey showed up…smashing! We obviously had some of Nanny’s birthday cake…..
No let up on Sunday, it was over to Grandad’s for lunch (the train set is coming along really nicely now) before going to the Pub for Nanny’s birthday outing. This time we had the Flack’s (minus the wedgie giving Owen) and Auntie Trish and Uncle Al. I was a bit quiet to begin with but soon warmed up.

Monday morning I had a very serious incident. Sometimes I like to stand up on the footrest of the buggy and face backwards holding onto the tubes. It’s pretty cool until mum tries to push the buggy up a dropped kerb and the buggy comes to an abrupt halt. I ended up landing on my backside quite hard, I was in tears and had to ring Dad at work for some comfort. Still never mind, no permanent damage was done.
Dad came to get me on the bike again today. On the way home a lot of trees have been blown over into the river, I was telling Dad all about it. The wind blew the trees over and they died in the water and now the sharks are going to eat them. I don’t think he believed it all….. Once we got home we had lawnmower races and did some digging before I emptied all my outdoor toys into the garden and played with them all for 45 seconds a piece.
One last thing, don’t come looking for updates next Wednesday as I’m going on my holidays at last. It’s been a while.

Wet!

How much rain have we had lately? Too much. Certainly too much for Mum and Dad who have had to try and entertain me indoors, no easy task.
We did creep out last Thursday afternoon to the skatepark in Thatcham though. I rode my bike around it like a loony, racing Dad on his skateboard (the silly old fool looks a proper numpty on it as well, still he enjoys himself and it gets him out of the house).
Mum was off work on Friday, and the sun was out. We ate fruit salad in the garden watching the aeroplanes and birdies fly over, proper nice. I got all of my outdoor toys out that I hadn’t seen since last summer and had a right good time. We then went out in the close on my tractor and Mum really made me laugh hiding behind parked cars and jumping out on me as I pedalled past. She still plays with me even though her tummy is getting quite big, she’s a good ‘un. In the afternoon we went to a place called JJ’s in Basingstoke. It’s like fantasy land but different. I took a little while to warm up but then there was no stopping me. They had a massive bumpy slide that came down from right up in the roof and I had loads of races with another little girl that I met there. She was a bit younger than me, so I had to wait for her on the climb back to the top but I didn’t mind. When it was time to go home I kicked off big time as I really didn’t want to go home. There should have been some pictures of the outing but the camera batteries were dead…oops!
Saturday Mum had to go to work….booo! We dropped her off and went to see Nanny. She was going round to Uncle Ian’s so we took her round and I had a great time with Uncle Ian, I showed him how the dishwasher works and he showed me his muddy garden. Owen got up eventually as well, we had a bit of a wrestle and we played with his helicopter until the batteries went dead. Make sure it’s charged next time! Mum+Work on a Saturday = Pasty Shop. Then we had a lazy afternoon……
Sunday, raining like mad and I decided to get up at half past six. In desperation we went to see Uncle Alan in the morning. As predicted, he was sat around in his pants playing computer games. I demanded two visits to the toilet so I could have a nose around upstairs and made sure I left no stone unturned downstairs either.
In the afternoon we went round to Abi’s house for the grown ups to have a music quiz. I took an enormous sack of toys with me which I emptied in the floor, before abandoning the lot of them in favour of Abi’s.

I helped her to eat her yoghurt without even taking a ‘handling fee’
I must apologise for my volume level on Sunday afternoon, I was very, very noisy indeed….ha!
Monday morning I sneaked some grapes into my coat pocket before we left for nursery, good job I didn’t squash them……
Tuesday was parent’s evening at nursery. I saw Alastair on the way in (he was going home) and we ran for each other up the path like two long lost lovers, but didn’t quite know what to do when we got to each other. Apparently i’ve become very confident and independent lately (I’m sure Dad interprets these traits in another, altogether less complimentary term). I also got grassed up for not eating my dinner, I’m getting really fussy at the moment, unless it sausages, sandwiches, grapes or beans I’m not interested…..